Cheesecake

My story

📂 [CLASSIFIED] – OPERATION CHEESECAKE Status: Declassified for Public Adoption Subject: “Cheesecake” Breed: Classified (suspected: 50% fluff, 50% pure goodness) Weight: Large enough to be considered a strategic couch anchor Age: Ageless angel energy MISSION SUMMARY: Subject Cheesecake was discovered living undercover as a “regular dog.” Field agents quickly determined she is, in fact, the Perfect Baby Angel™—a once-in-a-generation canine with unmatched people skills and suspiciously perfect house manners. Although her name is Cheesecake, do not attempt to eat her. (She’s mostly fur. And dreams. And chunk.) KNOWN ABILITIES: Couch Dominance Protocol: Will occupy prime seating positions without negotiation. Emotional Warfare: Uses “soft eyes” and “gentle lean” to dismantle human sadness. Lap Dog Illusion Tactics: Will insist she fits perfectly in your lap despite her… generous proportions. Theatrical Lounging: Lies dramatically across couches like a Victorian fainting lady. Snack Surveillance: Gives you a look that clearly says, “Yes, human, fetch me a treat.” POTENTIAL RISKS: May cause sudden, uncontrollable happiness in household. Highly addictive; adopter will become obsessed and show everyone pictures of her. Adopter will begin referring to her as “my perfect baby angel” until friends stop inviting them to parties. May convince you to purchase furniture exclusively for her use. RECOMMENDED ACTION: Immediate extraction from shelter environment. Transfer to permanent loving home. Maintain steady supply of treats, head pats, and adoration. END OF FILE Adopt Cheesecake now—before the government finds out we have her and reassigns her to another lucky family.

If you have any questions or would like to adopt Cheesecake, please reach out to the adoption group directly. PetSmart Charities does not facilitate the adoption process. Thank you.